Let Us Help You
by PleaseDon'tGetMeRescued
Summary: "Let me help you Ziva. Let us help you."-After Ziva gets back from Somalia, Vance makes sure she goes through therapy. Tony makes sure to stand by her every step of the way.
1. Chapter 1 Never Tell

Chapter One- Never Tell

He held her small hand as they waited, yet again, to be called into the room. The ugly mint green walls that seemed to be staring back at him were decorated with water-color paintings of flowers that looked like they were done by five-year-olds. _God these walls are horrible._

"The color green is supposed to be soothing, Tony. Stop thinking about how ugly the walls are." She always had seemed to be able to read his mind. Ziva didn't look at him when she spoke. Her voice was quiet and she just stared straight ahead, not at the walls, not at the paintings, not at the seats that lined the other side of the waiting room, just ahead, like she was seeing something that wasn't there. She always got this way when they were waiting to be called in by the doctor. It was as if she was remembering. Remembering what though? Somalia? Rivkin? _I've got to distract her._

"But Ziva, you see, if these walls are green that means they are trying to calm people down, which means that they think we're not in control, which kind of makes me mad, which means I'm not calm."

She turned her head to face me, a small smile gracing her lips. "So you're saying that it defeats the purpose, yes?"

"Yes," I say smiling. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Well, Tony, I think you're the only person that thinks about things like that," she replies, turning back to the wall.

"Maybe," I agree, turning back to the wall as well. We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until the door ahead of us opened and out walked Charles, the man who had the appointment before us every week, along with Dr. Bray.

"Ziva, Tony, you can both come in now," she said as she lead us into the familiar room. The room had dark red walls. There was hard wood floor and a few matching carpets covering parts of it. In the far left corner there was a large oak desk covered with papers and files, a computer sat on top of it along with about twelve or so Starbucks cups. She was as bad as Gibbs. In the middle of the room there was a huge black, leather sofa, along with two matching chairs and a coffee table in between them.

After looking around the room and inspecting it thoroughly, trying not to be too obvious, Ziva sat down on the sofa which was facing the door, and pulled Tony down next to her. She never once let go of his hand. Tony looked over at Dr. Bray as she sat down in the chair across from them. He looked at the doctor and if asking "why is she always like this? Why can't she let her guard down? It has been three months." Dr. Bray just looked over at Ziva and said, "So, Ziva, how have you been?"

"I have been great," came her response. She was lying. Ziva knew it, Tony knew it, and Dr. Bray knew it. All three of them knew that, even after three months of therapy, she would probably never come out and say what she felt. She would never tell them about how she was scared of the dark, and had to sleep with the lights of, if she even got sleep, which was rare seeing how every time she closed her eyes all she saw was Saleem standing over her. She would never tell them that the reason she didn't like going down to Abbey's lab anymore was because all of the sharp things in there scared her, they could draw blood, like her captor's knives. She would never tell them that she didn't think she would ever be intimate with a man again, not after what Saleem and his men had done to her over and over and over again. She would never tell that every time she is alone she feels claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on her and she couldn't breathe. She'd never tell them anything.


	2. Chapter 2 Afraid

Chapter Two- Afraid

The sun was out and they drove with the windows down. Sunlight sparkled all around them, but the cold, autumn air made everything seem dreary. Tony looked over at Ziva as they drove along the long, winding roads. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she stared blankly out the window at the passing trees. He surveyed her thoroughly taking in her soft features. He noted the fullness of her lips, the exact shade of her hair, and finally the deep circles under her eyes. He'd know from the moment they got back from Somalia that she'd have nightmares. He had them too. He pictured it all the time: her strapped to a chair in the middle of the dirty, disgusting cell he's saved her from. He hated thinking about what they did to her. He wished she'd just tell him so he could stop imagining the worst.

It was clear to everyone on the team that she'd been suffering from lack of sleep. At work she hid the circles under her eyes well, but Tony always noticed. He noticed the dark, wrinkly ever-present shadows that seemed to mock him. It was his fault, all of it. If he hadn't been so damn intrusive in the first place none of this would have happened. He should have just stayed home that night, instead of invading her personal life and going to her apartment ready to demand answers. He wouldn't have killed Rivkin and Ziva wouldn't have walked in to find her partner had just killed her lover, she wouldn't have lost faith in him and stayed in Tel Aviv or gone on the mission or gotten captured and beaten and on and on and on. So many things wouldn't have happened. She'd still be safe and nightmare-free. It was entirely his fault.

And yet, it was hers too. She kept secrets. She could have told them he was there and she wouldn't have been accused of betraying NCIS. And since she'd returned- she could have told them what had happened to her. Opened up and told the truth, not the half-truth she told Gibbs in interrogation. She could have opened up to Tony or Dr. Bray. That's what they were there for!

"God damn it, Ziva!" he shouted, slamming his hands against the steering wheel and pulling over to the side of the road. Ziva jumped and whipped her head around to face him, startled by the sudden disturbance in the silence.

"_What?!"_ she asked with wide eyes.

"What the hell are you doing!?" he demanded.

"I'm not doing anything! What are you talking-?"

"I know! I know you're not doing anything! You don't think I've noticed that by now? That you haven't said a word to the therapist even though you've been seeing her for three months? Or that you won't tell anybody what happened to you when you were in that Godforsaken cell! Well _newsflash! _I have noticed! We've all noticed! So I'm going to ask you again, what the hell are you doing?"

She kept her gaze on her shoes, not looking him in the eye afraid he'd see how closed to tears she was. "I don't know," she whispered.

"What," he insisted. "What don't you know? Do you not know how much we worry about you? How much we care about you and how we missed you when you were gone? You don't know that no matter how much make up you put on those bags under your eyes we still notice them and that we see straight through your façade? You don't know that we're here for you?! Or that we don't care what happened to you over the summer that we're still going to love you no matter what!? Nothing could ever change the way we feel about you! All of us! Me, Gibbs, Abbey, McGee, Ducky, we all love you Ziva and if you think that the things that happen to you are going to influence that then there is obviously something really wrong here!"

She was crying now. Her hands were buried in her hands as she sobbed. She was so ashamed of everything. Every time one of them touched her or looked at her for too long she shied away. She could feel their eyes on her all the time, probing, looking for a way to make change her into her old self again. She almost always jerked away when they came too close, like they would become as dirty as her with the slightest touch. She couldn't face them. She couldn't tell them what happened. Despite what Tony said, they'd treat her different, like she was fragile, and she couldn't have that.

Tony got out of the car, closing the door quietly. He walked around the front of the car and opened her door, kneeling down in the dirt. He took her hand and instantly felt her go stiff. "Ziva," he said. "Look at me." She wouldn't. "Ziva, please, look at me." He put his fingers under her chin and gently made her look him in the eye.

As soon as she stared down into his deep, green eyes she immediately relaxed. He always seemed to calm her. He was her guardian angel.

"Ziva what are you scared of? You think we're going to let them hurt you again? They're dead, Ziva. You're safe now and I'm never going to let you anything happen to you again. I promise." She just stared down at him. "What are you so worried about?"

"I'm scared," she said simply. Her lower lip was trembling and her eyes remained red and puffy.

"What is scaring you?"

"I'm scared…that you'll treat me different. I don't want to have to be taken care of. That would mean I'm weak, and I'm weak enough already. Look at me! I'm crying! I was raised better than this."

"Ziva, crying doesn't make you weak. You think I don't cry? When Gibbs told me you were dead what do you think I did? I went home and bawled my eyes out. I told you I couldn't live without you and I meant it. Crying doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. You are the strongest person I've ever known, even now. Even after all of this has happened to you, you are still stronger than me. Do you believe me?"

"No," she stated. "I don't see how I can. How can I be stronger than you? I have all these fears all these doubts. I just don't understand."

"I have fears too. I'm so afraid that you won't let me help you; that you won't go back to being the Ziva I know and love. Let me help you Ziva. Let us help you. We all want to and we'll never be ashamed of you when you come to us and cry on our shoulder. Take as much time as you need, we'll always be here. We love you Ziva."

And that was enough. She collapsed into his arms and sobbed into his shirt, finally letting go of all the emotion she'd been holding back. She might not be ready to tell him what had happened yet, but with Tony there by her side, she wasn't so afraid.


	3. Chapter 3 Understand

_Hey guys! I'm really sorry I haven't updated in so long but I've been insanely busy with school and basketball and being sick and whatnot. I know it's been way too long and I feel really bad that I haven't updated since November. But thanks to all of you who haven't given up on me! And thanks for all of the AMAZING reviews! They honestly make my day. _

Chapter Three- Understand

The rest of their ride back to NCIS was quiet. Not silent, but calm. Ziva's eyes were still puffy and red but she had stopped crying soon after Tony had taken her into his arms. Now, as they sped down the winding road no words needed to be said. They held hands over the center console and felt safe in each other's company. Normally she would have let go, not able to feel the contact but she felt safe with him. Always.

As they pulled up to the Navy Yard and into Tony's parking space they let each other's hands go. When they reached the elevator and the doors closed Ziva hugged Tony. No explanation, she just turned to him and embraced him around the waist. Tony was a little shocked but had no complaints and held her tightly to him. As the doors opened she let go of him and confidently walked into the bullpen.

She took a seat at her desk and immediately started on her paperwork. Tony came in and did the same, sure that she was comfortable enough to work with ease. She concentrated hard and got a lot of her work done very quickly. Soon after McGee came in and started to work as well. Ziva sneezed and McGee instinctively looked at her. "Bless- Oh my gosh, Ziva! Are you ok? What's wrong?" He got up from his desk and went over to crouch by her side.

_Am I so obviously upset that even McGee can tell something is wrong? _

"What do you mean Tim?"

"You're eyes. They're all red and puffy. Have you been crying?"

With a gasp Ziva ran around the other side of her desk and towards the ladies' room.

"What? What did I say? What's wrong?" he asked, confused.

Tony glared in his direction. "Allergies, McQuestion," he growled and quickly jogged of in Ziva's direction. McGee just sat there, worried and confused.

As Tony hesitantly opened the ladies' room door he saw Ziva furiously scrubbing at her face with water over the sink. He entered the bathroom and placed a gently hand on her back, but she just kept scrubbing.

"Ziva," Tony said as he lightly placed his hand over hers to get her to stop. She lifted her face to look at him in the mirror. Her cheeks and eyes were red and irritated. "Hey, are you alright?"

"How? How can I be so transparent that _McGee _can tell something is wrong? I don't understand Tony! I have been trained to not show my emotions. I know better than to let people see right through me. In Mossad if you can't conceal your feelings and emotions you will get killed. I have lived my entire life knowing that! I just don't understand anymore. Am I that weak and out of practice? Is my father right? Has America made me weak?"

Tony handed her a paper towel and she wiped her face and blew her nose harshly.

"No Ziva. Your father is a crazy bastard of a man and he is wrong about everything when it comes to you. If he was a good father he wouldn't have turned you into a killer. If America has done anything for you it has turned you into a human. You have people who love you here. I already told you, we care about you. More than you know. And McGee, he is just protective of you. He is worried about you, just like the rest of us. Me, Gibbs, McGee, Abby, and Ducky, we all care for you so much that we'd do anything for you. We are a family. I promise you, Ziva, you are _not _weak. You could never be weak. You are only human and humans aren't invincible. Do you understand?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "Thank you Tony," she said as she embraced him yet again.

He followed her out of the ladies' room and toward the bullpen. McGee was staring off in the direction of Ziva's desk. She came to his side and wrapped her arms around him without a word. She took a seat at her desk and began to work again.

Nobody said anything, but the sentence _what's up with the hugs lately? _ran through his mind.

_Eeeew. I don't particularly like this chapter. I'm sorry its so ,sooo short. If anything this chapter should be really long because I haven't updated in forever. I'm sorry, again. _

_Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks_

_*M_


	4. Author's Note

Hey guys,

I realize most of you might be wondering why I haven't updated in so long. Unfortunately, I'm just not feeling too inspired with this story as of right now. I've tried writing and rewriting it, but I'm just not feeling it. Hopefully once the show starts back up with season eight I'll get over it and be able to continue. But please don't give up on me just yet. I think the reason I've lost my inspiration is because I'm no good at multi-chapter fics. So I might be posting some one-shots soon, but I won't keep going with this story until I'm sure I'll be able to give it my all. Thank you so much to all of you that have reviewed and whatnot. And also, a special thank you to **kanskyny **for letting me know what she thinks about the rating. I totally agree with her. So as of now the rating will be moved up to **T **just to be safe. Eventually, once I get my mojo back, it might even get bumped up to **M**.

Also, if anybody is interested, I'm working on an **Inception **one-shot right now. I absolutely loved the movie (I've seen it twice and am going again this weekend) and recently have been inspired to write a few short fics based off of it. So please check them out. The first should be posted sometime later this weekend.

Once again, I really, really appreciate all of you who take the time to read my stories. You really mean a lot to me.

XOXO,

Maddy

P.S. I have changed my username to **PleaseDon'tGetMeRescued**, just to let you guys know.


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